Excerpt

And we sat there together, lying by the great oak tree outside her house, hand in hand, heart on sleeve. Feeling eternally as one, our souls forever intertwined  While we gazed at the starry night and hoped in our hearts that very moment would never come to an end. That we could be together until the end of time, lost in our innocence.

"Andres" she whispered
"Yes?"
"I think... I think that I'm in love with you."
Love is a strong word.
"I love you too."
"But are you in love with me? There's a big difference you know."
"Yes" I said "I am in love with you. I am so in love with you that I can't stop thinking about you. So in love with you that I often just sit in that very spot, not trying to get you off my mind. You mean the world to me, and I love and am in love with you."
Her eyes lit up. I'd been keeping that in for weeks.
"...Do you really mean that?"
"Of course I do."
She leans over and lies on my chest, staring at the sky and listening intently to the pulse of my heart.
"You're nervous!" she giggled
"I am not" I replied playfully
Yes I was.
"You are too! Your heart is going 80 miles a minute! And look at your hands... They're all sweaty!"
Embarrassed, I brushed them off quickly.
"Don't worry." She said " I think that it's cute."

I blush, or at least as much as someone my skin color can blush, and smile. I had everything. My life was complete and I was happy. And with that she fell asleep. Contently resting on my chest as I brushed her hair and put my arm around her.

Waiting

Despite everything you've put me through,
I still love you,
Yes I do.


I know you don't love me in the same way,
at least not for now, but I'll wait for that day,
And when it comes I'll smile and say:

I have everything I'll ever need,
My girl by my side and a bottle of mead
Living for her has become my creed.

But soft, that day may never come
Leaving me feeling both alone and dumb,
But despite this, I will not succumb.


For if I give up, and it was meant to be
It'll be to late for me to see
Then time when You and I, become We

Why Am I Not Worthy?

Why am I not worthy?
Of being able to hold you tight?
Why am I not worthy?
Of being able to call you mine?
Why am I not worthy?
Of kissing you goodnight?
Why am I not worthy?
Of having your heart divine?

Oh, why am I not worthy?
Of receiving that sweetest kiss?
Why am I not worthy?
Of receiving love too big to hide?
Why am I not worthy?
Of being the one that you dearly miss?
Why am I not worthy? 
Of standing by your side?

WHY am I not worthy?
Of having you lay in my arms?
Why am I not worthy?
Of keeping you inside my heart?
Why am I not worthy?
Of protecting you from any harm?
Why am I not worthy?
Of having nothing keep us apart?

It's because she's amazing and I'm a loser,
She's like the ocean while I'm just a puddle.

We Can Give Society the Middle Finger

We can drive into the country side,
You and I.
Guided by only the starlight
And the foolish dreams of our youth.


We'd go where no man has gone before
And tread together,
before the night
In spite of, whatever fears are racing through our minds.


We can give society the middle finger,
Abandon the world and everybody in it
Then live and love together
Until the end of time.

In the End.

Fine tunes and finer friends
I'd hate for this time to end
But in the end, everything ends
And all your friends will be dead.


You can try to make amends,
But it doesn't matter in the end
because in the end, everything ends
And there'll be no one with whom to make amends.


I see no point to the things you send,
Because everything brakes in the end
Because in the end, everything ends
And no one will be there to get the things you send


But if in the end, everything ends
Then why can't we have fun my friend
Come with me, and we'll pretend
That it all matters in the end

The Great Pretender

Why do I feel like I'm always pretending?
Your eyes free me from my lies.


I can't even tell you where this seems to be going,
It's a feeling I despise.


I need to know if there's to be an ending,
To this lack of feeling that's inside.


And now it seems as if I'm never showing
The man I truly am inside


And the messages I'm sending with the look inside your eyes
Are the ones that people never find


They call me The Great Pretender,
And I know that they have a reason why.
They call me The Great Pretender,
Cos my life is just a masquerade of lies.

Thoughts of Her

"I'll always be there"
She told me.
"My love will never die"
She lied.
She's still here
Not in substance,
But in thought
Wrecking & Distressing
My waking mind


The thought of her
With another guy
Makes me want to cry
I guess I was never good enough
Just a waste of her fucking time


The thought of her
The thought of I
The thought of us

And the times we had


The thought of her
and what she made me:
Which was a better guy
A better lover,
Better friend,
With better thoughts
Within his mind


The thought of her,
Cheating me,
Leaving me alone to die


The thought of her
and what she did
Makes me wonder,
and ask "But why?"